Fri. Oct 30th, 2020

Hi All,I found several posts in this sub that have been really helpful and even found some going through the exact same issue as my wife and I are now. I'd like to take it one step further and the ask the community, especially folks who have been through this, what did you do? How did you decide? And of course the big one – if you were forced to go back in time and remake the decision, would your decision be the same?Me [M40] and my wife [F36] have been happily married for 5 years and have no kids. We dated for 5 years before getting married and this is a first marriage for both. We both have good jobs, we have a great house, and generally speaking it's been a really great marriage – no money issues, no infidelity, no alcohol or drug abuse – and we are very compatible. I love my wife very much and she loves me.When we came into the marriage we discussed and were in agreement on having kids – there was some differing views on how kids many but we were on the same page about having kids. About 2.5 years ago, we started trying to get pregnant and then my wife abruptly stopped – she said she wasn't ready which was sad for me but I was ok. I wanted to give her the time she needed. Then shortly after that she shared the reason she stopped is that maybe she didn't want to have kids at all – not yes, not no, unsure. We started couples therapy right after that and of course it's been hard at times but on the whole a good experience.Fast forward to today. I still want kid(s). My wife is still a maybe and has just shared that if we do have a child together it wouldn't be for at least another 4-5 years. That was very hard to hear….it's like the closest thing you can get to a 'no' without her actually saying 'no'. I told her that's the way I'm interpreting it and she understood.One of the things our therapist has been preparing me for is if we got to this stage that I would need to be prepared to make an impossible decision-Make the compromise to be ok not having kids and I would need to get to a place where I am truly ok because I wouldn't want to resent my wife.Move on from the marriage and be prepared to begin anew with someone who does want kids.Our therapist has shared this openly with both of us so we both understand what's at stake. In a weird way, I wish there was more stuff wrong with our marriage or we weren't so compatible so this wouldn't be such an impossible decision. Of course it is possible my wife changes course and decides she does want a child and is ok having it soon but that is her decision/her journey.I will seeing a therapist 1-1 soon to help me sort this out but I wanted to ask the community, is this something you've been through? What did you do? How did you decide? Would you make the same decision again?I feel completely lost – losing my wife and losing the prospect of being a dad both seem incredibly awful to me. Any advice from those who have been through something similar?